Hello. Me Again…
May 18, 2014

So this is the 1st post back in a couple years now. A lot has changed for me both personally and professionally. I’m a father now x3… I remember back when I was struggling to have #1 lol. God is great. God also told me in order to be a better dad, it was time to scale back on the things that weren’t tattooed on my heart… Like radio. Loved doing it, but between that or music, I was put here for music. Soul searching sometimes leads you on journeys deep into your inner self that reveal things you may not have been aware of before. I love all things music-related, and I love Ebony Brinson for the opportunity to enlighten myself as I helped my people grow physically, spiritually and mentally, but not everything you love is your purpose.


At some point I realized that you have to strive to be the VERY BEST you you can be, and other things might look and seem like they bring forth successes, but those are not life-long journeys or successes, only interim, seasonal success. At one point, I felt like I was being led away from music altogether in favor of a more “traditional” life as a full-time working dad in a nice suburban home with LITERALLY a white picket…. ok it’s not a white picket fence, but still…. Perfect utopia. Go to church every Sunday with my wife and kids, tithe. Come home, family time, football in the fall. I’ll just slowly sell off this iMac and equipment, move on. Simplicity. Only problem is, I’m not “traditional”. I walk around with bars in my head 24/7. See, I just made a hook right there… “24/7, got bars in my head…” This is me. I play with my kids and love em to death. I play with my wife and it leads to more kids. But when I’m not doing that, I’m empty without an outlet for all these words and ideas. Some people can go to a job and find fulfillment in punching a time clock, working overtime, performing a skill picked up from a trade, answering a phone, making a spreadsheet, etc. That mundane routine stuff. I just can’t. That ONE DAY the boss has a bad day and things roll downhill from there, I’ll be the one to think to myself, “Ok Jay why are you here again? You belong doing something that matters, not getting your ass handed to you for things beyond your control.” Like a reset button goes off.


And it’s just as much a curse as it is a gift… Maybe more of a curse. Everybody needs to feel like they’re felt, like they belong to and understood by somebody. So I can’t really find the words to explain how much importance this music thing plays in my life for the average person (or spouse) to really get the point across. But it is what it is. This is me. Some people go to a bar every Friday night and drink their ass off because that’s their pressure relief valve, and if it weren’t there they would be a pressure cooker and eventually explode. But it’s a “necessary evil”, and we all have 1 which makes us uniquely ourselves. This is mine. I get it now.


So what does it all mean??? It means I need to blog more (like every Sunday a blog posting will be here for the loyal subscribers who like the wordy posts I couldn’t fit onto Facebook). It means the music, videos, updates, upcoming events, etc. may be posted here, but in the interest that I may have younger audiences reading these, my posts will be largely of the “censored” or mild-natured variety (If you’re interest in uncensorship, go google search the rest of the music content or look up the rest of my links). But to sum it all up, it was a long journey to an end to have a new beginning. Here I come!